What is an enneagram? Do you know your personality type? How can knowing your intelligence center and personality type help you deal with life problems and situations?
In this podcast episode, Billy and Brandy Eldridge talk to Jackie Coban about enneagrams.
Meet Jackie Coban
Jackie is a triple-certified coach in Life Coaching, Enneagram Coaching, and Neurolinguistic Programming. She is the founder of Table For 9 Coaching and the host of the Table for 9 podcast. She is a quick-witted, passionate, fire-cracker woman whose personal philosophy is that it IS possible to see people win in life, love, and work.
Jackie is a coach who works with various individuals and groups to help them embrace who they are and what they bring to the table, no pun intended. She is well-balanced in where she has worked: law offices, anti-sex trafficking movements, the non-profit sector, human resources, finance, and the like. She had one thing in common in all places: the pull to “make it work” for everyone. After leading 5+ teams simultaneously at a non-profit organization, she realized what everyone brought to the table was truly different and equally valuable, and she wanted other people to see it, too.
Visit Jackie’s website and connect on Instagram. Listen to her podcast here.
In This Podcast
Summary
- Ugly mirrors
- Jackie’s “aha” moment
- WTF is the enneagram?
- The enneagram and spirituality
Ugly mirrors
There’s gotta be a why, but I can’t figure it out.
Based on the expectations around Jackie, she had been suppressing a lot. You run away as much as you can but you realize you can’t run from yourself and you finally hit a breaking point. You’re stuck with yourself, you’re in this place of knowing what’s going on around you, you know what you’re doing, and you see what you’re doing, but you can’t figure out why you’re doing it. When you don’t have something that tells you this is a stop sign, when you don’t have boundaries, and when you’re stuck, all you’re looking at is a mirror that you can’t explain. You have to look at this person in the mirror and acknowledge that you’re going to take her wherever you go but you’re going to embrace her and figure out what the healthiest version of her is.
Jackie’s “aha” moment
Rock bottom doesn’t have to be your only teacher. Every single day we can choose to look at ourselves and ask why.
A couple of years ago, Jackie started working with survivors of trafficking. This is when she started to realize that there was a lot more to her than what she was singing. Jackie’s moment came when she hit rock bottom but she tells her clients that rock bottom doesn’t have to be their only teacher. Every day, we can choose to look at ourselves and ask why. Asking yourself that constantly and doing that little work helps you avoid rock bottom and start the journey to self-awareness.
WTF is the enneagram?
The enneagram is a personality test that defines nine types of people:
1. The perfectionist or the reformer
At their core, they feel like if the world around them is not perfect, they’re not perfect. They fear being bad or unredeemable, because that’s what imperfection means to them.
2. The helper
The kind of people that are really warm and approachable, but they honestly feel that if they’re not needed, they’re not going to be loved or seen.
3. The achiever or the best
The people you look at and say they’re CEO bound. Their worth is tied to their work and they struggle a lot with imposter syndrome. They hide their emotions away from themselves because it gets in the way of work.
4. The individualist or the romantic
The feelers, they don’t do feelings, they are feelings. If they don’t stand out in some kind of way then they are going to fade away, won’t be remembered, and aren’t going to leave their mark on the world.
5. The investigator or the theorist
They rely heavily on knowledge because they fear to look incompetent, running out of time and being depleted. Knowledge takes less energy than feelings do so they really live up in their brains.
6. The loyalist or the guardian
The guardians for the rules. Anything that could go wrong, could go wrong so they need to plan for it. For them, fear is fear itself, or the fear of the possibility of not having things planned.
7. The enthusiasts or the party
They are super fun, super enthusiastic, and like adventure after adventure. They jump from one thing to the other because they fear being trapped in emotional pain and understand that if they start to feel this then it might never stop because it is so deep.
8. The challenger or the dragon
They’re the people that will stomp on the ice between you to make sure it’s solid. They can be aggressive, are straight to the point, and are going to be honest with you. Their biggest fear is being rejected or being blindsided and betrayed or at the mercy of injustice. Protecting people and themselves is a high priority, that’s what makes them and gives them strength.
9. The peacemakers or the wallflower
They’re the people you want to go to, to understand your side of the story. They take on people’s opinions because they don’t want conflict. There is nothing worse than conflict, especially direct conflict, and they’ll do anything to avoid it.
The enneagram and spirituality
When it comes to connecting to your enneagram type, it’s literally like raking leaves so you can see the path between you and the divinity in yourself, whatever faith or spirituality, or even non-faith you are. There is something that connects you to the world around you, the people around you.
These things around you that connect you and make you human, those are divine, and that’s inside of you. The enneagram doesn’t just make sense, it bridges the gap between you and your mind, understanding yourself and the divine that’s already inside of you. If you go to mosque, church, another spiritual gathering, or even to yoga class or sit outside on the grass, you are connecting yourself to some sort of community in a sense, but really, it’s just facilitated by the divinity that’s already inside of you.
The biggest understanding that we have to come to is that, regardless of what we believe, we are spiritual beings simply because of the fact that we can connect to things outside of ourselves. And, when there’s a disconnect within ourselves, that’s where we find the disconnect everywhere else. So step one is connecting within ourselves. The enneagram facilitates that and from there you find this ability to connect to all these other things around you.
Books mentioned in this episode
Useful links:
Meet Billy Eldridge
Meet Billy, the resident beta male. For Billy, this is a place to hang out with other beta males and the people who love them. We’re redefining what beta males look like in the world. I have learned to embrace my best beta self, and I can help you to do the same. As a therapist, I understand the need to belong. You belong here. Join the REVOLUTION.
Meet Brandy Eldridge
Hello, Beta friends. I am an alpha personality who is embracing the beta way of life. I feel alive when connected with people, whether that is listening to their stories or learning about their passions. Forget small talk, let’s go deep together. Come to the table and let’s have some life-changing conversations.
Thanks for listening!
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The post Jackie Coban is an Enneagram Expert & Life Coach | Episode 14 appeared first on Brandy Eldridge.